Veekee James Tells Women: “Don’t Deny Your Husband Sex”

Popular Nigerian fashion designer and influencer, Veekee James, has stirred massive controversy online following comments she made about sex and marital duties. Speaking at a bridal shower for her sister-in-law, the newlywed dished out candid advice that has since gone viral and ignited passionate debates across social media.

In a video that has now made its rounds on various platforms, Veekee, who has been married for just over a year, encouraged married women not to deny their husbands sexual access—even when tired. Her words, delivered with striking bluntness, have drawn mixed reactions.

“I have at least almost a year and a half of marriage experience. So don’t deny your husband sex; it’s not a lie,” she began.
“Sometimes you might be so tired that you cannot move and the last thing you want is anyone touching you… My sister, just lie down and open your legs. You don’t need to do any work. Just make the crooked way straight.”

According to Veekee, a woman may be genuinely exhausted, but she should still find a way to accommodate her husband’s needs, even if passively. Her statement, “Just lie down and open your legs,” has now become the most quoted part of the viral clip.

She went on to add that when a woman is not too tired, she should communicate softly and lovingly with her husband, rather than bluntly turning him down.

“You’d just have to know how to say it and pet him, so he would see that you’re also tired,” she advised.

Veekee’s remarks have divided opinions, with supporters hailing her as “real” and “honest” about marital expectations, especially in Nigerian society, where many couples often avoid open discussions about sexual dynamics.

One supporter on social media wrote:

“I agree with her 100%. All she said – FACTS. If you like, listen. If you like, keep thinking marriage is a war zone.”

Others, however, were not so impressed. Critics described the message as heavily one-sided and reflective of outdated gender norms, where the woman is expected to “perform” in marriage regardless of how she feels.

“Why is it always women that are told to endure, tolerate, and give? Can’t a man see his wife is tired and respect that?” one Twitter user asked.
“If we advised men as much as we advise women, divorce rates would drop,” another added.

Many argued that Veekee’s statement ignored the importance of consent and mutual satisfaction in marital intimacy. While acknowledging her right to speak from her experience, some viewers expressed concern over her advice being promoted as a general rule for all marriages.

A woman reacted saying:

“Actually, when I’m tired, I tell my husband I’m tired and he respects it. Communication can solve these so-called rules in marriage. Not every time ‘lie down and open leg’—body no be firewood.”

“Why is marriage advice in Nigeria always directed at the woman? It’s always about what she should give, tolerate or fix. When do we start advising the men?” a post on Instagram read.

Whether seen as genuine advice or problematic messaging, Veekee James’ comments have reignited an age-old discussion on the roles of women in marriage, especially when it comes to sex and submission. For many Nigerians, the debate is not just about what was said, but what it reveals about ongoing gender dynamics and the emotional labor many women silently carry.

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